Understanding love by parts

     In the movie called love Rosie, when Alex was getting married, and his best friend who loved him for most of her life who  was his best man, Rosie in her toast for the newly wed proposed and I quote "Because I've realized that no matter where you are or what you're doing or who you're with I'll  always honestly, truly, completely love 

you ."

     This was enough for me to realize that love isn't always about happy endings and you don't always meet with what you desire for. Sometimes love is about being happy with the happiness of the other. Love is a potion for leaving, nothing that's alive cannot live without loving. you've got to love someone in your lifetime, that's human nature. That's how we are mended, loving gives a purpose for life 

     When I was a teenager my mum narrated me with this story that she had heard from somewhere, for me to understand what it means to love. What love defines.

" Once there lived a happy couple, both husband and wife were madly in love, unfortunately  wife dies and her husband felt as if his whole world vanished in a blink.He was  devastated, he mourned for months in her memory. His love for her was pure and unconditional, yet few years later he got remarried and again was madly in love. THE END"

     What My mum wanted me to learn from this tale was,  love is immortal and we mortals meet it to last long  and love is not just about something in particular. Just as one needs fire, air, water and earth, same way they require soul to survive, the soul craves love.

     She through this tale wanted me to understand that loving can be of any form, you are going to love and be loved by someone or the other. It's not limited to just one person or a single being. Till the end of your life you are going to love many people and not all of them are going to love you back. love is not about expectations ,it's about expansion.

     Me loving her and both her and my father loving me  is one kind of love and as in the story she narrated someday I'd find my soulmate and I'd be madly in love  that's the other kind ,then again me loving my children, grandchildren till I die. All of this is love in different forms yet all of this is purely love.

     Love can be mental ,spiritual, physical,  emotional as well as psychological in any form and accepting these forms of love is when I'd understand the true essence of love .

When she narrated me this tale of husband and wife, my mind was still fluctuating, contemplating the husbands behavior. The teenage me couldn't understand human behavior and love properly. Well if he loved her truly, he'd still keep on loving her till his last breath was my accusation, I accused him to be selfish for marrying another woman .

 Back then, to my assumptions and little imagination the husband did not truly love her but the company of her and as years passed he craved for the love of that company and remarried to fill that gap. He to me was a total narcist who loved himself and nobody else, but as I mentioned above we all love one or the other person to survive as our soul craves love.

 Years later did I  truly understand that in one way or the other we all are selfish, we all love for the sake of living that's not bad or judgmental. That kind of selfishness is a common sign that defines humanity. What's uncommon is being selfish throughout the journey of loving . when I mentioned Rosie loved Alex for her whole life yet did not end up with him, she had him as her best friend for years and if she were selfish she would have had him as her life partner but then again that love would be in vain. 

Her being selfish would only gain her a lifetime of arguments and Distress. No matter what he could never  love her the way she loved him. That would burden the both of them creating difference and loneliness. The more selfish one becomes to find love the more narrower and contracted the situations and life gets. Love can never be born out of selfishness, it needs to harness with trust , kindness and most importantly willingness to be selflessly loving.